20-07-21 19:29 (CEST). A new song 🎶 with Cowboy Dreamer where I have written the lyrics is now here and under Media files on my web. Be sure to check it out!! There is also the entire lyrics to read. Hope you will like the song. It’s based on one of my poems. Cowboy Dreamer put the beautiful tones to it.
I got to know Cowboy Dreamer through the music. He has become a good friend of mine. He writes very good lyrics and music himself too and I hope for continued collaboration.
20-07-21 17:52 PM (CEST). I am in celibacy. What’s that for a headline … I guess you get a little curious now … I just think I need to be extra close to God. I have been married before and had a few boyfriends. I have someone that I care about now. I have friends too. People and family are important. It’s important to stay strong for yourself and your close ones. To stay strong even when there is fire around you. I am in that kind of period of my life right now. There’s fire around. I need to stay focused on what’s really important.
I have started watching a serie called Warrior Nun at Netflix. She is nothing like me from what I see right now. I am another kind of Warrior Nun. I believe there’s a war between good and evil going on in this world – as I call hell. There is so much suffering going on everywhere. Children are starving and there is war and COVID-19. I think we are in the last time. I believe Jesus will come back. Humans will be rescued. That’s what I believe. We all have right to our beliefs.
I have decided celibacy is my way to go for now. My decision. We live in time of trials. I want to stay focused. To keep the fire around me calm. I pray everyday with the cross sign. I am not catholic, but it feels good to do it. I am trying to stop myself from cursing too. Just trying. In the end it’s not our acts that matter though, I believe. It’s where we have our hearts. I have so much love in my heart. I love a lot. It’s easy to love. I love you too, dear. I wish you all the best. I wish you also can feel love here in hell.
20-07-20 09:27 AM (CEST). My friend who is like family to me has promised to teach me the basics of martial art and self-defense in the late summer and autumn. I am going to be his commando soldier / ninja … 😅. No, but what fun and educational it will be 🙂. I am excited on starting training now … I have made a diet and exercise plan and the plan is to be spiritual also of course … I went to church ✝️ yesterday. First time in a long time …
Yihey, fun with new goals!! I’m listening to some good music to keep myself in the mood … Bonnie Tyler – Holding Out For A Hero 🎶. How good isn’t that one.
At the same time, everyday life sometimes hurts. Hearts break 💔 and lie on the slaughter bench. Exercise helps for both the crushed hearts, body, the mental with the soul and the spirit.
Today I will do an hour of powerwalk and tonight I will watch the game when Hammarby meets Gothenburg. Go Hammarby! 🇳🇬💚🇳🇬. Good results give adrenaline. Protecting body, soul and spirit produces feel-good hormones.
I hope you my followers also take care of yourself and your body and mind. Life is here and now. Peace to you all. Peace ✌️.
20-07-19 13:36 PM (CEST). Today I went to church. It was a beautiful ceremony and I took the communion. I was thinking a lot from the 1 Corinthians 9 when they read from it.
Here are the Bible verses:
”Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” (1 Cor. 9:24-27).
I feel strong when I read this words. I wanna run for victory with my music 🎶 and books 📚. There may be obstacles and other bad things coming in between. Maybe even evil … But I will kick-box the Devil’s ass in that case. He can go to hell. I walk with Jesus. That’s what I want to do. I will walk and run with peace in my mind ✌️.
The priest ended the service with some words from Latin; “Ite, missa est” = Let us go. I say it to you too my followers. Believe in yourselves and what you are doing. You are awesome what ever others say or think. Ite, missa est … Let us go.
20-07-19 10:46 AM (CEST). I am writing on a new lyrics. My friend “D” who is Iike a brother to me (family forever) will maybe make the music for it. He is a genius when it comes to create music in the computer. I am always amazed of his work.
He wrote this earlier when I sent him the lyrics for the song (translated from Swedish):
“I think that when your self-confidence reaches maximum you will have a unique rather rare voice that will go into ecstasy with the song. Your lyrics was quite dark and I feel that a feelgood beat on a Mellow level would balance it …”.
I am so excited about this project. I am in a few other projects too right now. It’s fun to be creative. With creativity comes happiness.
I am also practicing some languages right now. Just for fun. Like Finnish 🇫🇮, German 🇩🇪 and even a little Russian 🇷🇺 … It’s exciting with languages. Here are some Finnish 🇫🇮 – very important words 😉😉 – about my Finnish background:
Olen vahva nainen. Puoli suomalaista. Suomi on vahva. Meillä on veitset ja suomalainen sisältö.😉😉.
Take care my Finnish followers 🇫🇮🇫🇮. And the rest of you too of course. Peace✌️.
20-07-18 16:36 PM (CEST). I met my special man yesterday. I got this beautiful Egyptian cat and the Carneval mask from him. Alex is a great mini sculpture artist. Inspired by the Egyptian culture and also the Aztec. You see some of his artwork in this picture. I am astonished with his creations. He is in my heart too. Я люблю тебя, любимая, хорошо.
Today I am a little tired. A day of rest and then actually maybe go to a church tomorrow. I need time in church I feel. Right now I sit and relax on a bench in a park. I feel peace. Peace is a good feeling. Peace to you my followers. Peace ✌️.
20-07-16 14:05 PM (CEST). Today I bought some new earrings. I went shopping. Just after that I got some really sad news from someone I care about a lot. Oh, God. Life can be so difficult and sad. I hope and pray for the best solution for him. It breaks my heart to hear him miserable … I am in sorrow myself too. Life can really be pain. I pray for family, relatives and friends. Please, God. Come with mercy. I can only pray. There is hope. We must believe in hope. Even in a cruel world … Even when hope seems broken … 🥀⚓️.
PS: I took this picture before I got the sad news.
20-07-16 08:43 AM (CEST). … And in God’s hand… No. I’m not really serious about this first headline, but look at the statistics for this half of July! The beginning of my blog … I already have visitors from many countries and nations. Wow, thank you all 💖. This feels so good and I am happy I started blogging and vlogging now again!! I don’t know who you are, but please be followers 💖🙏.
20-07-14 15:35 PM (CEST). I got a couple of beautiful gifts the other day. Look at this mask on the picture below. It is handmade by my great sculpture artist connection Alexander. It was hard to make a good photo of it. It is just an amazing art work.
The mask is Loke (Loki). He brings happiness and crazy luck in this pagan mask. In this case, according to Alexander, brings fortune in my hands.
The first Vikings abandoned their faith in Asa gods to Christianity around the beginning of the 10th century, I think. Loke (Loki) is one of the Asa gods in Northern mythology, even though he was the son of a giant. In the older Poetic Edda, Loke appears in several of the poems and is a central figure in some of them (Wikipedia).
20-07-14 09:10 AM (CEST). A new song 🎶 with Cowboy Dreamer where I have written the lyrics is now here and under Media Files on my web. Be sure to check it out!! There is also text about the background for the lyrics, dedication and the entire lyrics to read. Hope you will like the song. The lyrics are based from a sad time in my life when I was living with violence. Time heals wounds. The future is ahead of us … 🌱.
I got to know Cowboy Dreamer through the music. He has become a good friend of mine. He writes very good lyrics and music himself too and I hope for continued collaboration. We have at least two more songs in progress.
20-07-12 18:32 PM (CEST). What a wonderful day I had 😻❤️. I went to see a for me very special person today. We had a great time. I had my leg warmers on of course and my Hammarby inspired nails 💚. My “school teacher glasses” were on too!! … 😅. I need to buy new lenses … Coffee on the balcony was part of the day … ☕️. I got some really amazing gifts too. He is a great artist this guy. I will show them to you later on … When we waved “Good bye” to each other, it suddenly started to rain and hail like crazy!! What a shock!! 😅😅.
I started a new Facebook group yesterday. Hammarby Galaxy 💚🎶💚. Be sure to join!!
20-07-11 17:03 PM (CEST). Today I was secondhand shopping. I was looking for a charger for my other cellphone. It is always good to have an extra phone in case of emergancy. I got this phone as a gift 💝. Thank you “J” 🙂. Well, anyway. I couldn’t find the charger at the store, but the cashier was very helpful. He said he would have it in the store next week and that I would get it for free. How kind of him. I will definitely go and pick it up next week. What in life are for free these days?
My leg warmers were on today, of course. The 80s may be on me for that very reason. I wear them almost all the time now. Maybe I’m creating a new trend 🙂. Leg warmers are damn cool in my opinion. The heat is in absence here in Sweden right now anyway.
I also fixed my nails today. I don’t do my nails very often anymore, unfortunately. My economics are limited … Anyway. I did the nails in Hammarby inspiration. Green nails are cool according to me. I’ll maybe show them to you later on …
Let’s see if you will start with leg warmers and Hammarby nails too now 🙂. Just remember, I blogged about it first 🙂✌️.
Have a nice rest of the weekend now my followers. Peace to all of you ✌️.
20-07-11 07:07 AM (CEST). Someone supported me late yesterday eavning. Thank you ”A”. We talked on the phone, because I had trouble going to sleep. I still have sorrow in my heart. He is a great support and I am thankful he is in my life. I don’t forget things like this. People who are this kind are valuable. I value kindness.
I fell asleep after we had the talk. I normally don’t have a problem going to sleep and I also normally sleep very well during the night. I did now too. Seven hours. That is totally what I need.
I know people that really have big problems with their sleep. They can be affected that there is a full moon for example. I don’t. I am just “in love with the moon.” 😅. I am very fascinated with the moon, stars and planets. Once I saw a blood moon. I set the alarm to see it early that morning. It was awesome.
On the 21st of December this year it will be a Great Conjunction of the planets Jupiter and Saturn. I had a dream about this in 2015. I wrote about it in a diary and found the notes now earlier this spring. It was a scary dream about one part of the world. A sort of a nightmare actually, but I wasn’t terrified in the dream. I hope it won’t come true. Do you believe in true dreams? I sometimes do. Hopefully this was just a dream …
Take care my followers. Peace to the world. Peace✌️.
20-07-10 07:31 AM (CEST). I started my social media again recently after a period of absence. It was a feeling of freedom for me to be able to get in touch with old friends again. However, I will only have old friends on social media. Unfortunately not followers. I have my reasons. Hope you can somehow understand … You can always send me an e-mail. My e-mail address you will find under Contact.
It’s morning and I’m drinking a cup of coffee. It’s raining I think. This will be a great day I hope.
Peace my followers. Peace ✌️.
PS. Doesn’t it look a little like I have a snake in this cup of coffee 😅. With a heart as it’s head … I am just wondering … 🙂.
20-07-09 21:36 PM (CEST). I have written a song in Swedish that is based on one of my earlier poems. It’s from a sad part of my life that I still need healing from. A friend made the instrumental sound and also the singing. I am very thankful because he put the feelings into tones. It will soon be published here on my web.
This song is dedicated to men and women who live in relationships with abuse and stalking. And if there are children involved who are affected too of course. That is the most important. Abuse can affect both men, women and children. It’s common to feel guilt. Being exposed to abuse are in some cases associated with feelings of shame. We all need to be a part of changing that.
I wrote this song in the spring of 2020. The poem I wrote in the summer of 2016. I used to be in a relationship where I was periodically subjected to violence. Physically, psychologically and latently. I have felt a lot of fear since then. It has affected me a lot. My mercy is that I have no feelings for him anymore. It’s always harder if you do I guess. Don’t go back. You are worth a life of peace. Peace.
Sometimes there is an explanation for the abuse. Tragic and trauma has sometimes been a part of the abusers life too. It’s not an excuse. Not even a reason. It’s just sad. We need authorities in Sweden to help to handle all this things. All of the things based on the current situation.
It’s not always easy to forgive and healing sometimes takes time. We all do wrong. We are humans. I am not perfect either. Who is perfect? With forgiveness comes freedom. I believe that. There is always a new beginning for someone. Stalking, harassment, threatening and violence is never okey though. Never.
20-07-09 09:26 AM (CEST). It’s a beautiful day in Sweden today. The sun is shining and I went for a 40 minute walk. Then I had to go home and drink water.
I got a little crazy yesterday. Catching up with a friend by phone can be nice and give feelings of joy and happiness. I felt like singing and dancing. It’s almost a feeling like I had a glass of wine in my body yesterday, but I didn’t. I just felt happy for a while. Even if I am in sorrow I still get good feelings.
About wine and alcohol. I think I am better off without. I used to be a member of the Salvation Army some years ago. I drank no alcohol at all then for several years. In one years time now I have drank wine at two times. Before that it was more often. I like the taste, but since I am drinking so seldom it’s easier to get a little tipsy from just a glass. I don’t want to get to that. I feel better when I am totally in self-control. There are alcohol free options that I would prefer. There is always also a chance that someone that really have a problem with alcohol get triggered. Maybe that’s you? Sorry, in that case that I mentioned it. Stay clean. Life has so much to offer without any kind of drugs. My “drugs” for now are cigarettes. I will try to quit later when I have my life more organized. I have moved recently … For now I don’t mind a cigarette once in a while. It’s true though. I would do better off without them. Much better.
I have written a song about wine and what it can do to you. It’s lyrics with tones and would fit perfect for a troubadour kind of person. Maybe you will hear it later if I find someone to cooperate with it.
20-07-08 08:43 AM (CEST). Good statistics on my web already. Welcome Sweden, USA, Finland and Russia!! 😀. I don’t know who you are, but it’s so nice to have you as visitors. Please, be also followers. Take care all of you. May the day be even better than you wish for. Peace ✌️.
20-07-07 21:30 PM (CEST). I read about the big cat animals recently. They are called “Panthera” and consist of tigers, lions, leopards and jaguars. The panther is a leopard or a jaguar with black fur. I am fascinated by these beautiful, majestic animals and I was inspired to write a few lines …
Kings and The King
The sun slowly descends into the horizon. Black silhouettes against its dark red color reveal the powerful emperors of the night. Feeling of tension is in the air. A bird warns with its terrifying sound.
The sun slowly descends into the horizon. Sorrow in a vulnerable heart characterizes a miserable soul of the night. Feeling of invisibility is in the air. The Dove comforts with its soothing sound.
“The panthera is not your enemy”, is the the loving message. “You are safe. You are not alone. You are seen. You are meant to be a panthera yourself.”.
I’m a leopard at day. A panther at night. Invisible and visible at the same time. At my side walkes The Lion.
20-07-07 19:02 PM (CEST). I’ve started publishing some example videos under Media Files. I have, among other things, a song that is finished that I have a collaboration with a friend where only the video is to be made. There’s also some metal songs coming up later on … Stay tuned for more …
20-07-07 14:15 PM (CEST). Wow, I am stuffed. We ate lunch at a Greek restaurant today. I ate souvlaki with beef and French fries. And a lot of tzatziki and hummus and vegetables of course. Delicious, but I will definitely need a walk later on. Sweden is beautiful. The sun is shining. Today I got some good news again. Even if I have sorrow in my heart I find bright moments.
I met a puppy the other day. I just fell in love. I miss my dog a lot. I used to have a dobermann. My God I miss him …💔. The missing … A great watchdog and family member. He loved me and followed me every step I took … I have two beautiful cats now. They are adorable. Doris and Diva. Sisters ❤️.
I got a drawing from someone the other day. A drawing of cats. One of them look exactly like mine. I got so happy. Things in life that come from the heart is something that I really appreciate and value. Good people. There are good people. Animals and good people are things that I value in life.
20-07-06 18:07 PM (CEST). Today I feel I must share with you the word freedom. I feel I am one step more towards freedom. I have felt like I have been in prison for some time. True prison. Arrest me! Arrest me! 😅. Maybe I will write more about it later. We’ll see. Good things came out of it though. You meet with new good people. Well, a ”Segerrapport” as we say in Swedish. Part of the victory for me anyway.
So I sang a little for you (with a filter video). Sorry, it sounds like it does 😅. I was a little nervous 😅. I’m actually working on my singing voice. It’s fun to sing 🎶 . It was “Sång till friheten” with Björn Afzelius. A Spanish singer from the beginning, I think. A friend sang it to me the other day and I just felt: Freedom. Here we come. I sing it with a Swedish “e” instead of “är” because I am a born söderböna. Now we’re talking Hammarby – Swedish soccer/ fotboll again 😅💚.
Bless you brothers, sisters and friends.
Friheten är ditt vackra namn.
Vänskapen är din stolta moder.
Rättvisan är din broder.
Freden är din syster.
Kampen är din fader.
Framtiden är ansvar.
Songwriter: Bjorn Svante Afzelius / Dominguez S Rodriguez
20-07-05 21:33 PM (CEST). Tomorrow is a big day for me. “Say a little prayer for me”. When I pray, I also pray for my family and my friends’ family and also our relatives. We are important. We are all God’s children. I think this is hell. Here on earth. I think we all have a place waiting for one day that is heaven and the new world. That’s what I think. My belief. I know everyone doesn’t agree. I don’t care. I got a right to have my belief. My faith. Now our task is to make “life in hell” as good as possible. I know that is not always easy. Hell is hell. I hope you in someway can find peace in your heart, body and soul. Let every day count as they said in the movie about Titanic (something like that). Let it count. Or as Swedish Lina Sandell wrote in Swedish: “Blott en dag, ett ögonblick i sänder…”.
This is a picture from my latest blog Stella Amira. I have had three different blog names. DJ AnniBaby, Celsius300 and Stella Amira. When I was Stella Amira I was completely anonymous. I will tell you more about my former blogs later on. Tomorrow I will hopefully keep on building on my website.
I have a little feeling of happiness in hell today. I have hope for the future.
20-07-05 14:45 PM (CEST). I was just now watching a Swedish teve show with an interview with a famous Swedish hockey player. I didn’t really pay attention to what they were talking about, but it was something about mood and to be able to feel anger in some situations. Sometimes you feel guilt afterwards they said. It’s true this I think. There are things in the society and other things that make me angry too. It’s just important to watch your tongue I think, so you don’t hurt someone else. It can be an act of balancing. You are allowed to feel things. Feelings are part of our lives. Even anger. It’s just important to be careful how you are in front of others I think. Especially children.
About hockey. I have been to a NHL game once in my life. San José Sharks towards L.A. Kings. Sharks won. Yiehey!! Go Sharks, Go Sharks!! 🙂. I am not an expert in hockey and sports, but that was just so totally amazing to experience. What a show!
During the Roman Empire when Emperor Augustus reigned they talked about Panem et circenses (bröd och skådespel in Swedish) to the people. That was exactly the feeling I had at that hockey game – with the difference that instead of gladiators there were hockey players. Sharks are examples of my gladiators / heroes. Which ones are yours?
It’s almost a feeling of early autumn in Sweden today I think. It’s raining. That is actually good. It’s dry outside. We need rain. Not so fun maybe though for everyone that has vacation and long for the sun. Anyway. I want to go to a hockey game next season. I hope to find an exciting game. According to me all seasons also has its beauty. We must remember that summer is beautiful even when it rains. That’s what I think. Peace to you my followers. Peace. ✌️.
20-07-05 11:28 AM (CEST). I’ve been on a walk for forty-five minutes today. Fast walk mixed with slower walk. I also jogged a few steps. Relaxation. I want to start training now. It might be in a gym in combo with something else as well as walking and powerwalk / jogging. I have a strength inboard that starts to bloom. I feel stronger and stronger 🙂.
I picked some flowers the other day. White. The ones in the picture. My nails are not fixed for long though. I like this kind of things. That’s a bit of me. It makes me happy to care about my appearance, but of course it is the inside that counts. Always. We are all different. We are all beautiful in our own way. We are unique.
I love flowers. White roses and other white flowers are a favorite. Then also the red aster. It has come to me in a vision recently. It’s symbolism. I will write about it in an upcoming book, I think. The third one in a trilogy.
20-07-05 09:20 AM (CEST). Today I take it slow. Sunday for me is a day for rest. I woke up at eight in the morning. My brain is a little tired. I suffer from a little Brain Fatigue. Hope you are okay or very well my followers. There is always hope and I stick to the anchor of hope. I see glimpses of light as I look out over this day. I see headlights when I look out over the future. Peace my friend. Peace ✌️.
20-07-04 13:16 PM (CEST). Today it is soccer on TV (fotboll in Swedish). Hammarby meets Alingsås at 3 PM (CEST). I hope it won’t rain on the players. Maybe just a little rain when we get the victory. Refreshing rain in a perfect temperature for a day with fotboll. I was born Söderböna and my interest in soccer has grown above all, especially this summer. I have dreams of going on a really powerful derby in Stockholm. Hammarby meets AIK or Djurgården. I have some creative ideas too. With creativity comes happiness. More information to come. Stay tuned.
20-07-04 09:19 AM (CEST) F-ck. Excuse my language, but when I am writing this I am a bit frustrated 😅. The technic on my blog is messing with me and I think I need to rebuilt my blog. I feel like blowing up my phone up into pieces now 😅😅. No, just kidding. But I gave my phone the finger in the heat of the moment. With a laugh. I would never do it in front of children. I am just too fast on the keys sometimes and a little impatient sometimes. It’s boring to start all over again. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5). My issues to work on is sometimes patience and it used to be self-control too. We all have issues to work on. We are not perfect. It is good to be aware of your weaknesses. Then you can work on them.
20-07-04 10:23 AM (CEST). I fixed it my self now. “Skam den som ger sig” as we say in Swedish. I thought I needed to ask a friend. I didn’t need to start all over. Let’s see if the technic cooperate better with me from now on. I will start promoting my blog on Monday, so there is still time to organize things 🙂. It would be nice to relax with a cup of coffee in awhile. I love a cup of coffee once in a while.
PS. I have better language in front of children of course.
20-07-04 07:54 AM (CEST). Happy 4th of July. America = My Fristad (Swedish). I love America. America is in my heart. I hope you all Americans have a wonderful and loving 4th of July. I lived one year in the US back in the 1995 working as an AuPair. In Connecticut, an hour from New York. I love N.Y. I have been visiting US several times since then. Sad to say but I feel coldness in my chest when I am writing this. Maybe some of you followers don’t like that I love America. Please. I am allowed my own opinions and feelings. No one can ever stop me from loving and I don’t force anyone to follow my blog. I love Sweden too. It’s nothing wrong with that. Sweden is beautiful with its nature and coast. We have a beautiful flag. It’s a cross. The colors are the sun and sky for me. Sun and sky. Today the sun is covered with clouds where I am. I hope light is not covered by clouds in your mind and heart. Peace to you all. Peace. Take care.
20-07-03 21:18 PM (CEST). Got a special gift today. I will show it to you later on. I also sang and danced a little on the balcony with a new friend. Trying to stay in a good mood is not always hard when you have good people around and good people to keep in contact with. It’s a calm eavning tonight. Peaceful.
20-07-03 14:45 PM (CEST). It’s great to be back on blogging. Finally. I have missed it a lot. I have missed my followers. I have missed you. This is the beginning of something good. Hopefully both for me and you.
I took a road trip the other day. I have sorrow in my soul. Sorrow in my heart. Music distracts. Music make me hopeful. Music make me smile. Even laugh. Even in the worst situations. I push away feelings sometimes. When it hurts to much. We must always remember that there can live fragility in persons. Not just me. In all of us. Treat each other with respect and kindness. We don’t always know other people’s burden. We can only hope for better times. Peace to all of you my readers. Peace.
PS. It’s possible I will soon release a song that is finished here. Stay tuned.